I Wish I Had Mental Stability Instead of These Perfect T*ts Baby Tee | Funny Sarcastic Top

Price range: $27.99 through $29.99

Boxy cropped baby tee with the Perfect T*ts slogan in tall condensed capitals.

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🚚 Free shipping on orders over $50
📦 Made to order — ships in 5-12 business days (US)
🔄 Free replacements for defects or damage
👕 Premium quality — soft, fitted, made to last
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🇺🇸 Printed
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Description

A cropped baby tee for the friend who turns every crisis into a punchline. It swaps a steady mind for a great chest and sounds only half sorry about the trade, the kind of line you say about yourself before anyone else gets the chance. Tall condensed capitals stack the joke in three lines: I WISH I HAD on top, MENTAL STABILITY INSTEAD OF small in the middle, and THESE PERFECT T*TS large across the bottom with the asterisk printed in place. It prints across the front. The lettering prints white on Caviar and black on every other color.

Why this one gets bought

  • Four colorways: Athletic Heather, Caviar, Cherry Blossom and Cloud Dancer.
  • Runs all the way to 5XL.
  • Three stacked lines of condensed type across the front.
  • White lettering on Caviar, black on the other three colorways.

The blank we print on
Women’s Baby Tee in a fine, close knit. Cut as a boxy cropped baby tee with straight sides and a relaxed short sleeve. Available in 4 colors: Athletic Heather, Caviar, Cherry Blossom, Cloud Dancer. Sizes S through 5XL.

Printed for you
Made to order, so the graphic prints sharp and the color you pick is the color you get. Machine wash cold inside out and tumble dry low to keep the print looking new. Free U.S. shipping on orders over $50.

AI disclosure: product imagery features AI-generated models, not real people.

Additional information

Color

Athletic Heather, Caviar, Cherry Blossom, Cloud Dancer

Size

S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL, 5XL

Shipping

  • US orders: $4.99 flat rate, or FREE on orders over $50
  • Production: 2-7 business days (every item is made to order)
  • US delivery: 2-5 business days after production
  • Total US estimate: 5-12 business days from order to doorstep
  • International: 10-30 business days after production (varies by destination and customs)
  • Tracking number sent via email when your order ships

Returns & Exchanges

  • Defective or damaged: Free replacement — email us a photo within 30 days of delivery
  • Wrong size: Since every item is printed on demand, we cannot accept returns for sizing. Please check the size chart before ordering.
  • Wrong item received: We will send the correct item at no cost to you
  • Contact us: [email protected]

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Frequently Asked Questions

What blank is this printed on?

It's printed on a Women's Baby Tee in a fine, close knit.

How does it fit?

Cut as a boxy cropped baby tee with straight sides and a relaxed short sleeve. Size down one if you want it closer through the body.

What colors and sizes can I get?

Available in 4 colors: Athletic Heather, Caviar, Cherry Blossom, Cloud Dancer. Sizes run S through 5XL.

How does shipping work, and how do I care for it?

Every piece is printed to order for you, then shipped. Free U.S. shipping on orders over $50. Machine wash cold inside out and tumble dry low to keep the print looking new.