The Dildo of Consequences Never Arrives Lubed Tee | Funny Text Graphic T-Shirt

Description

For adults whose favorite genre of joke is watching a bad decision mature. The line is fatalism in its crudest possible phrasing, and the design leaves it alone: three lines of heavy distressed condensed capitals, alternating color word by word, with no illustration anywhere.

Why this one gets bought

• It is the shirt equivalent of saying the quiet part out loud, which is the entire reason someone buys an After Dark tee.
• The type is set big and plain, so it lands across a bar with no artwork to decode.
• It is a specific joke about consequences rather than generic edginess, which is what separates a shirt people quote from a shirt people ignore.

The blank we print on
Unisex Cotton Crew Tee (Next Level 3600) in premium fitted cotton. Cut as a classic unisex crew that runs slim through the body. Available in 11 colors: Solid Black, Solid Dark Chocolate, Solid Desert Pink, Solid Gold, Solid Heavy Metal, Solid Kelly Green, Solid Light Pink, Solid Midnight Navy, Solid Military Green, Solid Royal, Solid Turquoise. Sizes XS through 5XL.

Printed just for you
Made to order, so the graphic prints sharp and the color you pick is the color you get. Machine wash cold inside out and tumble dry low to keep the print looking new. Free U.S. shipping on orders over $50. Wear it somewhere your judgment is already in question.

AI disclosure: product imagery features AI-generated models, not real people.